The Wonderful Life of Graduate School

Choosing to continue education is commonly seen as a smart move for future career advancements. An increased focus on an area of study and the ability to conduct research gives the engineering grad student an upper hand when looking for employment.

Right...

It is fair to say that many grad students choose to stay in school because, "Wow! I'm finished with school and I have a degree, but I totally don't feel qualified to do work that may kill people if I mess up. School is fun, responsibilities are minimal... Why ruin a good thing?" Sure, watching newly-employed friends count their mountains of cash is not fun, but hey, a research assistant stipend is enough to pay the bills and put (fast) food on the table. Plus, think of all the fun times as an undergrad! And with only three classes, there will be so much more time for fun!

The first few weeks are nice: school is not busy yet, so there is time to read ahead for the next lecture and still have free time in the evening. Advisers ensure that there is no hurry for research. Move in, get comfortable, meet the other students. Being paid to attend class is great, it just doesn't get any better than this! Think of poor friends and classmates, trapped in their tiny cubicles for at least eight hours a day. Listening to old engineers talk about how much tougher they had it in school with their slide rules and punch cards must be maddening. Hopefully a glimmer of natural light makes it to their work areas at some point during the day.

And then school becomes school again. Homework assignments are handed out at an interval so that the completion of one signals the start of another. Lab reports are due weekly, but it takes all weekend to determine what the professor wants in the report. Why are they not held to the same level of writing quality as their students? By now, tests do not bring fear. An A is out of the question, so why worry? Just show up and take the damn thing. As it turns out, three classes is more than enough work for one semester.

It soon becomes apparent that professors think of research assistants as employees first and students second. If the GPA climbs too high, "Why aren't you in the lab more? Do some research!" Asking for time off for, say, Christmas break, will certainly be met with, "Yea, I guess. You do know you only get two weeks off a year, right?"

Let's not forget the all important part of research: learning to research. A few motivated students had gained coveted undergrad research positions and are prepared, but most grad students are initially completely lost in the lab. Don't worry, there are people willing to help. With luck, they are fellow grad students who teach methods and procedures in lab and also give good insight on schoolwork. With no luck, they are undergrad students. They are not employees, and their work is not necessary for a thesis and subsequent graduation. In other words, they are more worried over their classes than helping explain lab techniques. Don't think about calling with an important lab emergency question, they are much too busy hanging out with friends in some café to take the call. Isn't it ironic that graduating with an engineering degree, doing something less than 0.5% of the US population has achieved, is a prerequisite for being the assistant to an undergrad researcher?

Fortunately, the lab reports end, the final exams are taken, and the lowest GPA of any semester becomes the one of most pride. A few good weeks spent sleeping until noon makes the frightening memories of school fade away and maybe brings a little pity for the friends and classmates who have already been awake for five hours, drinking commercial grade coffee in order to make it to lunch (it's probably not fair trade, shade grown, or organic...). Somewhere in the dark corners of the mind lies the awareness that school will return, its inevitability lurking closer with every day. With a little luck and a lot of hard work, that semester will finally end, bringing graduation day just a little bit closer, just beyond the thesis defense. What a happy day getting a real job will be!